Assiniboine Flooding

Have you heard about the Assiniboine river in Manitoba? If you live in Manitoba you probably have, since it’s kinda a big deal, however if not, let me elaborate.

I’m no Manitoban, so I may get this wrong, but as far as I understand, the Assiniboine is one of the two large rivers (the other being the Red River) that flows in and through Winnipeg. Usually it’s the Red River that causes flooding issues, however this year the tables have turned and the Assiniboine is reeking havoc. Many farmlands and rural areas have been flooded, since they rest on low-lying floodplains. However, what is so controversial about the flooding is the fact that it was intentional. To save Winnipeg and avoid random bursting of the built up dykes a break in the dam was intentionally made.

As a result several hundreds of individuals had to evacuate, and many farmers have lost what some say to be their entire livelihood for the year. Premiere Selinger says that compensation will be provided, however to what extent in unclear.

Therefore, this is no laughing matter. In fact it was reported that the last time such an intense ordeal has occurred in Manitoba was 30 years ago, I don’t know about that, but I do know its intense. Even in the city the flooding of the river can be seen. Where trees are suppose to line the river there are no longer trees, since they have been engulfed by the rising water level. In Winnipeg there has not been any state of emergency (thanks to the sacrifice of rural communities) however who knows what’s in store.

Last I read the flooding was flowing with a current fast enough to fill 2 Olympic swimming pools every minute, that’s fast, and that’s only the water that is flooding out of the river. It’s a crazy time here, and crazier to think that all those people were sacrificed for me, and for others that are dwelling in the city.

How do you make those decisions? Kill one person to save 4, its still killing. But I would probably have done the same as the premier, its for the greater good. But its no easy choice. I definitely am not jealous of the place that Selinger is in.

Here’s to dry lands.

My Mind is Reality, isn't it?!

It’s funny how we try to predict life, create storylines and fairytales in our minds of what the future will be like. Where we will live, what we will do, who we will spend our time with. It’s funny how these fairytales rairly reflect reality. Not to say that’s a good or bad thing, but simply that our minds reality is different from the reality that exists around us.

Take for example, my moving to Winnipeg. Before coming here, I did research on organizations, events, and so on that were part of Winnipeg. After doing this research I started to form ideas and fairytales about what my life would be like here, how I would spend my time, and where I would work. Insert reality. Now being here the story is quite different.

My life is uncertain. My mind continues to run around in circles being in love with the moment, then scared about my future, then confused as to what the heck I am doing with my life. What the heck am I doing? It’s a good question. I am obsessed with immediate answers, but life is not immediate, yet trying to rest into patience is also hard, because I feel like I am wasting my time. I feel like there is so much potential to better myself, and when I sit around and do nothing (like this morning…it is now noon, I have been up for over 3 hrs, and have not left the house) I feel as though I am not grabbing my life by the horns. And yet, I also realize that this notion is somewhat silly, because to grab lifes horns we sometimes need patience, oh those horns.

Ok, so take the serious of events that have befalled me since I arrived in Winnipeg 5 days ago. I arrived and almost immediately got a job at a resturant here. Sweet, I can pay rent! Then I got another job with an environmental group, ever more sweetness. However, I went to my first shift at the resturant yesterday and I just couldn’t do it. As a vegan, I have strong feelings/morals/values…whatever you want to call them…towards eating meat, and, this resturant served meat. It just hurt my heart every time I served customers meat: I was promoting something I stand against! When my shift ended I knew I couldn’t continue, I had to quit. And so I spend the entire night tossing and turning as my mind went in circles thinking about how to break the news, is this the right choice, etc. I was a nervous reck because it was through the generosity of people I knew that I got the job, so I had to quit without causing tension! Intense! But I did it and this morning I quit. An end to that fairytale.

Oh the minds fairytales. So my life is in a state of confusion, turmoil, unrest. Everyday I struggle to find some control, which often causes more harm then not as I get kinda stressed about the control thing.

Re-Start and Off to WInni!

Its been a while…well, actually, its been a long while (at least three months). However, now that I am on my way to Winnipeg I thought I would re-establish my blog. I hope my past months of slacking have not tainted its reputation in your eyes. My plan is for this blog to continue as an expression of my life angst’s, articles that I find interesting and inspiring, and simply note-worthy life events. It’s a way to stay connected, keep those that matter in my life updated, however since it is a public domain I plan on keeping it fairly impersonal, so if you REALLY want to know how I'm doing, shoot me an email.

Revamp here we come!

A few months ago I decided to move to Winnipeg. It is a big step; I am scared, but also excited. When people asked me why I was moving to Winnipeg I never had much of an answer, “Uh, family and friends?”, “It’s a groovy scene there…”, which for some reason seemed somewhat unsatisfying for them, and slowly I started to wonder about my reasoning too.

How do we make choices? What defines a good versus bad choice? Are there bad or good choices or are there “just” choices? I find that if one moves because of a job, significant other, or school, then moving is socially acceptable/understandable. But what if one moves just for life? What if it just feels like the thing to do? In case you are wondering, that is why I am making my move. I don’t know if it’s the right choice to make, but then again I am not sure I believe in right or wrong choices. As my aunt says, “it’s not the choice that matters, but what you do with the choice once you’ve made it.” So here I go about to do something with the choice!

I am at a stage in my life where it would be really nice to root down somewhere for a bit. I don’t know what that is going to mean, how it is going to manifest, but I just feel like my soul needs it. There are so many things I want to do with my life that I will most likely move around throughout my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t grow roots. Within the past 6 years I have grown so used to (and fond of) moving that the longest I have ever been in one place is 8 months, however more often then not it was less then 6 month. I blame this addiction to moving on the co-op program, which is a great program, but has created a nomad out of me. Although it is good in many ways, it makes for an impatient, flighty person that is scared of commitment and personal connection. This is why I plan on working on my personal patience. With patience I hope to adjust my perspective on life to the larger picture, focusing on the far off horizon, rather then the shoreline waves (or lack of waves).

Stay tuned as I face life and try to use this new found patience to find comfort with all of the unknowns.

internal looking

Right now I am stuck. Stuck in this perpetual cycle of living to live, with everything I do feeling as though it is for me, to built my castle, my little dream world, and I don’t like it. (side note, this entry is more of a reflection on myself, my internal land rather then the physical world I see around me, end side note). I am struggling to find a way to connect myself to others, to bring my life greater meaning through helping others, or at least just building bridges. But perhaps that is still echo-centric. It’s a tricky situations, yet I feel very much like an isolated island right now, and as the days pass I notice how it is driving me a little crazy.

Its funny, because I feel like my life is very “perfect” right now, and therefore to complain about something seems wrong. I feel almost guilty to say that I am not over the top! Yet I am not. I find I am struggling with my lack of deep personal connections my life has with others. Yet what is stopping me? What is making this is impossible? And how do I change my life to solve this problem? Is it a problem?

Having just returned home (to my studio loft) from a friend’s book launch I reflect on the number of people that were there, and the support from such diverse areas in her life. She was such an insiring person in my life, and I doubt she even knows it. We lived in the same residence and she helped me stretch my boundaries, something that has helped me adventure to different coutries across the world. So how many people are there like that in my life that are priceless and don’t even know it? And to how many people am I that person? Perhaps I am not that person to anyone, and if so, that brings me some sadness, yet why? Why is that sad? I think maybe because that means that my existence does not hold any worth for anyone. Its funny how we crave for others to see worth in us, perhaps it is to ensure to ourselves that there is, somewhere, worth in ourselves, even when we don’t see any.

Anyways, its interesting. I feel like it would be nice to have more selve reflection time, more artistic time, more community outreach time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but its very rigid, as you would expect an eingeering job to be, and it leaves little room for singing and dancing, for colouring outside the lines, and for playing hop-scotch with kids.

With all this said, I feel like I am a slave to money. To my apartment, and to my bills. Money has never been something I want to define my life with, yet I feel like I am letting it do exactly that. I am very thrifty, sometimes to a fault, with my money. Yet as I think about how much I could make as an engineer I start to day dream of all the things I could do with all that money…yet I also don’t want all that money if it means not being in love with life, and the everyday life! Not just the vacations, or weekends, but the days and daily tasks too. What I do know, is I need to try to let go of attachments, of daydreams of what tomorrow with be, because the future is unpredictable, and without flexibility how can we be open to opportunity!

So I am trying, and with continue to search for a solution to my need for human connection and belonging. If you read this whole post, thanks for listening, its nice to know that someone cares, I hope I can do the same for you someday.

New Job, New Apartment, New life?

Its been a while, yet in that a while a lot has happened. Ain't that always the case?

Before I start rambling, I want to say, Merry Christmas!! I hope you all are having (or will soon) a relaxing, enjoyable time with the family and friends. I love spending time with my family at christmas time, for some reason we always, more or less, get along. The trick now is, how can we extend this to all year?

Within the past month or so a lot has happened in my life, I started a new job at an environmental consulting firm (Enviro-Stewards), got my own fabulous studio loft apartment, and launched my cookie business! So I am rolling in the new, shiny life and its great, however as a result I have had very little time, and what little time I do have, I somehow just dwindle away doing nothing really at all, do any of you have that problem?

brunch celebrating Lisa's birthday, this happened before I a working lady with no free time on my hands...

The job is great, currently its only an internship, but who knows what it will evolve into, whatever happens in the future, the present is pretty awesome. I have learned a lot in terms of the operating system of buildings, where energy losses can normally be located, what calculations and proposals to make for change, and what goes into writing a report. I have also been able to visit a lot of different manufacturing facilities, often feeling as though I am on some tv show that dives into how random things are made...thats me!

The new apartment is pretty rock star too! The ceilings are crazy high, like, church high! Seriously, if you don't believe me you should come check it out, its crazy! Its in a co-op so the idea is that it is more social, and, although I have said hi to a few people in the hallways, there's not a whole lot of social, but apparently that is all trying to be changed! Its really nice though, and I love living on my own, its nice to come home after a long day and just cook, eat, sit, read. That is essentially (well maybe some sleeping, meditating, and crafting now and then) all I do in my apartment! LOTS of cooking and eating! Yum.

"Traditional" cookies, packaged and ready for their eater!

Finally, to tie in with the cooking, my cookies business. Although its still a little baby, it has been launched, which, was somewhat successful. Not as successful as hoped, but a lot of people got introduced to the cookies, and I came away with some really great feedback. I am hopeful and excited about the future of these cookies. After the launch (for which I made 200 cookies with one baking tray! CRAZY I know!) I kinda went in pause/rest mode for the cookies, just in terms of making more dough, getting the word out there, etc., which is not very strategic, but you gotta look out for yourself right? However, soon, the cookies, will get reeved back up, so WATCH OUT!!

And now, here we are, its christmas! How did we get here? I really don't know. Its been a crazy year, full of transitions, changes, disappointments, surprises, successes, joy, and love. I have really loved it all, and although I perhaps didn't at the time, I appreciate all that I have gone through this year. I can't wait to reflect on the year, but that will be my next entry in a week or so (hopefully!!)!

Biking the countryside

As I am currently not working I tend to have a lot of time on my hands. Which is nice, but also induces crazy spells at times. I can only do so much reading, cooking, and eating before I get antsy (or explode!), which is where biking comes in.

As an already avid runner, I have been alternating my running with biking, which is nice because

a) takes pressure off knees and works on strengthening other muscles,

b) you get to go really fast down hills which is fun

c) I get to escape the city and roam the countryside.

During these roaming adventures I always make it a priority to snap 2 photos. So I thought I would share. I have biked out to conestogo, elmira, cambridge, hidelburg, and all around waterloo and kitchener. So these photos are from all over!

field

my bike!

The Attack of Canning!

Sorry its been so long. I am back in Waterloo now, trying to find a job...if you read this and know of an opportunity in the Sustainable development/environmental education industry give me a shout. Now that I am done my shameless cry for help, I thought I would share my weekend of chopping, stewing and canning...still to continue tonight, just taking a break now.

In the past two days I cut tomatoes, onions, garlic, apples, apples, peppers, peppers, peppers, and more peppers. As my first canning adventure I am sure it took longer then it would those experienced, but it was fun! It gave me time to watch the second transformers movie, listen to dharma talks, and just be. While being I made Apple Chutney (recipe from All About Canning and Preserving), green tomato salsa (recipe from www.farmgirlfare.com) and tonight I will be making spicy pepper salsa!

Apple chutney stewing away

So far I have 18 jars of goodness...unfortunately the canning pot is not big enough for bigger jars, which makes it somewhat difficult (broke a jar that touched the bottom of the hot pot last night). Its been fun though, and I now know why people become obsessed with canning, why homemade jams are so expensive (it takes a lot of time!), and how much work goes into eating only local and preserving the harvests!

Keep it real! Breath, and think about all those peppers that are still out there waiting for you to cut, if you so desire!