Sunday, October 18, 2009

Exciting or Exhausting, or both?!

Life is overwelming right now. this weekend i had a melt down, due to school, lack of sleep, trying to pull myself too many directions, financial strains, and putting myself down for someone i'm not. its funny how all week i have been enjoying little snippets of my latest edition of "YogaJounal" and the article about just being, and not getting wound and stressed out with all the doings of life, and what do i do? i get wound up. so today, as i studied for my midterm on wednesday, which i am not nearly close to prepared for, i tried to unwind, although counter-intuitive to do while studying, i think it did kinda work. getting a goods night sleep worked well too.

last night, in hopes to see my friend, who is now out of town, and thus i hadnt seen for a long time, i decided to go out for oktoberfesting to a very NON-german venue. it was, as i expected, nothing special, and in fact, upon arriving, i wanted to leave. i am not one for crowds, and acknowledging that i put myself down with ideas of how unsocial a person i am, and like there is something wrong with not enjoying the crowds. i dont think there is anything wrong with me, however i decided that there was last night. sooo i left pretty early, but it was really the best choice for my health, i think sometimes we have just recognize what our bodies and mental beings need, which is part of the challenge. my friend was extremely supportive, and actually, due to my melt down i was able to have a nice chat with her. why do melt downs always open up this space for nice chats and bondings? we shound really have melt downs more often if thats what their outcomes are.

i have so many thoughts flying around my head that i am itching to post, not expecting anyone to read them, except perhaps my imaginary friends...but just getting them out there helps. however i am tired, and thus sleep i go, but before that i will post a few pictures from the oktoberfest parade last weekend, went with mom and dad and it was fabulous! i lied, no pics, i will post them next time.